If i can’t have you

11 min readApr 29, 2019

“Why is he calling me?” Sarafina asked out loud.

Sarafina picked up the phone and put it on silent. The call was from Jide who recently became her ex. They dated for three months before Sarafina called it quits, but it seemed Jide didn’t get the message because he kept calling her and making conversation like they were still in a relationship.

The phone stopped ringing and she got a text almost immediately. She picked up her phone to read the text, it was from Jide, he wanted her to come over to his place. She ignored the message and put her phone on flight mode. She didn’t want to receive any calls or texts from Jide or anyone else she just wanted to be alone with her thoughts.

Sarafina dropped her phone on the bed and went to take a shower. She heard a knock as she stepped out of the shower and she immediately knew who it was. Still wrapped in a towel, Sarafina made her way to the front door to let her best friend, Peaches, in.

“You didn’t even ask who it was, what if I was a psychopath.” Peaches asked as she stepped into the house.

“You are a psychopath, and I knew it was you because you are the only one who breaks the ‘don’t show up at my place unannounced’ rule.”

Peaches chuckled “This is technically my house too, so I don’t need an invitation, besides I called you, but your phone was off.”

“I had to turn it off, Jide was calling.”

“What the hell does he want?”

“I have no idea. He keeps acting like everything is fine between us.”

“Then tell him nothing is right. It is over between the both of you, he needs to back off.”

Sarafina shrugged “I think he is in denial.”

Peaches was on the bed staring at the ceiling while Sarafina got dressed. Peaches thought about the first time Sarafina told her about Jide, she had immediately sensed that he was not a good person, but Sarafina was too love-struck to notice.

There are two kinds people you can’t give advice to in this world, a woman in love and a man with money. Jide was judgmental, manipulative, narcissistic, condescending and a whole lot of other toxic traits. He always made Sarafina unsure of his love for her, he was vague and cunny. Peaches never liked him and she had been there to cheer Sarafina on when she decided to break up with him.

“You know what?” Peaches said, breaking the silence “You should go and see him, tell him to his face that it is over, maybe he’ll get the message this time. You broke up with him over text, so maybe he doesn’t quite understand what you mean.”

“What else can ‘I have moved on, I think you should too’ mean?”

Peaches shrugged “Just try it, ok?”

Sarafina sighed “Sure.”

“Good. I came here so you could take me out to have lunch, so take me out to have lunch.”

Sarafina threw her wet towel at Peaches who blocked it and threw it back at her. They both went out for lunch and while they were eating and chatting, Sarafina sent Jide a text that she would like to meet on Saturday to which he replied can’t wait to see you.

Saturday came, and Sarafina slowly dragged herself out of bed. Breaking up with Jide was not something she was looking forward to. She had her bath and dressed up in jeans and a polo shirt, she wanted to look as basic as possible. She ran some errands before finally heading to Jide’s place.

It was four pm by the time she was done running errands, she picked up her phone and texted Jide that she was on her way then sent a text to Peaches ‘I am on my way to jide’s, wish me luck.’

Sarafina got to Jide’s house forty-five minutes later. His door was locked, but she didn’t want to use the key he gave her, she intended to return it to him. She knocked three times before he opened the door.

Sarafina sucked in her breath when Jide opened the door. He had on only briefs, the kind of brief that stuck tightly to you and accentuated everything! Sarafina tried hard not to look at his bulge, but it kept drawing her eyes to it. Jide reached in for a hug, and Sarafina caught a whiff of his cologne. He has always smelled terrific, that was one of the things that attracted her to him.

“I have missed you so much,” Jide said

“Yes, I know.” Sarafina pulled away from Jide, she was already turned on and she didn’t want to be. “Why are you naked?”

“I just finished working out.”

Jide’s body was glistening with sweat, so Sarafina knew he wasn’t lying. But why did he have to work out when he knew she was coming? He was up to no good and she knew it.

“Can you put some clothes on, we need to talk.”

“Since when did you become uncomfortable with me in briefs?”

Since I broke up with you, you idiot!!! Sarafina screamed internally

“Alright then, let’s take a seat.”

Jide led the way and Sarafina watched as his buttocks bounced along. Jide was light-skinned, six feet five inches tall with a broad shoulder and bulging muscles and a smile that could turn your gut into mush. They met at the gym when Sarafina was trying to get fit for Christmas and they became friends almost immediately before they started sleeping with each other which eventually led to them dating. Sarafina saw all the red flags before they started dating, but the hunger for him blocked her sense of reasoning.

But she could no longer take the judging, the manipulation, condescending tone, and the ghosting. Jide had the habit of ignoring for days, sometimes weeks then coming back and acting like nothing happened. She was done with the mental abuse; she had to get rid of him.

They sat down on the couch opposite the TV, they were facing each other and Sarafina was still trying her best not to look at his bulge. Before she started talking, Jide licked his lips and without knowing what came over her, Sarafina leaned over and kissed his lips.

Jide responded immediately, it was like he was expecting it. As she kissed him, she grabbed his dick and stroked it. He responded by slipping his hand under her shirt to unstrap her bra. The hook came off and she momentarily pulled away from him to take off her shirt and bra then she resumed the kissing.

Sarafina’s hunger for Jide was once again clouding her judgment, she knew it wasn’t a coincidence that she got to his place right when he was working out, after all, he knew she was coming. He wore those briefs on purpose because he knew just how much Sarafina lusted after his body. But she couldn’t stop because she didn’t want to stop.

Jide grabbed Sarafina’s breasts with both hands; He caressed them gently as he kissed her. His dick was demanding to be thrust into Sarafina’s warm juicy vagina, but he didn’t want to rush her, he wanted her to take the lead.

As if reading his mind, Sarafina stood up and hurriedly took off her jeans and as usual, she wasn’t wearing any panties. She got back on the couch and spread her legs, he smiled and stuck two fingers into her Vagina and she moaned.

Sarafina was ecstatic, she had had sex with Jide more times than she could count but each time felt like the first time. She pushed his back against the armrest of the couch and started sucking his nipple. It was something she knew he liked, something that drove him crazy.

Jide moaned loudly as Sarafina sucked his nipple. His dick cried as she sucked, it wanted to be stuck into something wet and juicy immediately and Jide was beginning to realize that he might not be able to wait for Sarafina to take the lead, so he gently pushed her off and brought his dick out of his briefs

“Missed this?” he asked, but Sarafina didn’t reply, she smiled instead. “He has missed you-you know.”

Sarafina parted her legs very well, giving Jide the signal that it was time to go in. He got the signal, and he guided his dick towards her vagina. At first, he teased her clitoris with the head of his dick and she pushed her hips towards his, trying to catch his dick with her vagina. When he was done teasing, he slipped his dick into her vagina and they both let out a moan at the same time.

Having sex on the couch was not new to them, they had had sex in every nook and cranny of the house, and on every furniture in the house, so they were able to handle fucking on the couch very well.

Sarafina was having a great time, Jide was making love to her and she was tempted to scream I love you! But she bit down her tongue. Those were words she could not say under any circumstances, she came here to break up with Jide and although she had his majestic cock inside her, she was not going to let that mess with her mission.

She locked eyes with Jide and he smiled her. Something about the smile was weird, it looked almost sinister. But Sarafina immediately brushed off the thought.

Jide leaned down and kissed Sarafina passionately. He knew why Sarafina had accepted to come to his house, and he was going to try to convince her not to and if he could not do that, he wanted this last sex to be the best sex ever for them both. He continued to slowly thrust into her while he kissed her neck, lips, face, and chest.

He nibbled on her ear lobes and squeezed her nipple with his right hand while he held her hands with his left. Whenever he felt like cumming, he would stop thrusting and kiss her so his soldiers could retreat. He didn’t want to come now, he wanted to make love to her some more, he needed to.

Sarafina had orgasmed several times already. That was one effect Jide had on her, he could make her cum multiple times without even trying hard. Sarafina wondered if she ever loved Jide if it had been the sex the whole time. She squeezed the wall of her vagina against his dick, he screamed and she smiled.

Jide’s tactics were beginning to fail, his soldiers were refusing to swim back, they were ready to jump ship and the little trick Sarafina was pulling by squeezing her vagina walls, was making it difficult for him to send them back. He glanced at the clock; it was six pm already, they had been having sex for twenty-five minutes.

“I am about to cum baby,” he whispered into Sarafina’s ear. He thrust his cock into her vagina a few more times before unloading sperm into her. His joints buckled and he crashed into Sarafina. “Still on the pill?” he asked. She didn’t reply, but he felt her nod.

”That was different.”

“Different good or different bad?”

Sarafina smiled “different good.”

Jide got up and offered his hand to help her get up. She didn’t take his hand, she stood up on her own.

“Can I use your bathroom?”

“Yh, sure. Let’s go shower.”

Sarafina shook her head “Alone, Jide, I want to use the bathroom alone.” Sarafina saw that Jide was hurt, they always showered together after sex but that could not happen anymore just like this sex shouldn’t have happened. He stepped aside for her to pass and she grabbed her things and went to the bathroom.

When she got back, she saw Jide on the couch watching TV. He was still shirtless but was now wearing shorts. She went and sat beside him. “We need to talk.”

Jide muted the TV and turned to her.

Sarafina explained to him that their relationship was no longer working out and she tried to explain to him through text, but he seemed not to get it, which was why she came here today to explain things to him better. She also apologized for coming on to him earlier; she didn’t want him to see the sex as a sign that their relationship still existed.

Jide was staring off into space and nodding when necessary. When she was done, he looked at her and asked: “can we still be friends?”

Sarafina didn’t have any intention to remain friends with him, she planned on blocking his number as soon as she leaves his place. But he didn’t have to know that so she smiled and said “Sure.”

”I made chicken soup and potatoes when you said you were coming, I’ll get you some.” He didn’t wait for Sarafina to reply, he rushed into the kitchen to get the food

Sarafina was hungry and she didn’t mind eating, she already had her last sex with him, she could as well have her last meal with him.

They ate in silence, it was already seven-thirty pm, and Sarafina rushed her food because she hated being outside late. She was taking her last spoon when she felt a sharp pain in her stomach. She dropped the bowl of soup and held on to her stomach. “I think I need to use the toilet” she informed Jide

“Go ahead,” he said,” without taking his eyes off the TV.

Sarafina stood up to go to the bathroom, she took two steps before falling forward, holding her belly. The pain was terrible, it was horrible. She looked at Jide, he didn’t seem to notice that she had fallen down “Jide, I don’t feel so good,” she said faintly. He turned to look at her and Sarafina saw that sinister smile on his face.

“You don’t say,” Jide said, sarcastically.

It was then Sarafina knew what was going on. Jide had poisoned her. He got up from the couch and walked up to her, he stood, towering above her with that sinister smile still on his face. “Why are you doing this?” she was weak and so was her voice, her words were coming out as a whisper, but he could still hear her clearly because his smile turned into a frown, he now looked evil.

Jide balled his fists and yelled through clenched teeth “Why am I doing this?” his voice thundered “You think you can leave me? Nobody leaves Jide. If I can’t have you then no one will,” Jide spat.

Sarafina had always known Jide didn’t handle rejection well, but she never knew he could go to this length because of that. She felt her life slowly draining out of her body and with her last breath she looked up to him and said: “I wished I had never met you.”

Jide checked Sarafina’s pulse to make sure she was really dead then he took her phone, unlocked it and sent a text to Peaches. I did it, girl, I finally did it. He took it quite well. As a matter of fact he said he felt the same way. I am going to bed now; I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow.” Peaches replied almost immediately with a dancing emoji, and Jide felt like bashing in her head. “I’ll deal with you later,” he said to himself as he tossed the phone on the couch.

Then he started getting rid of anything that showed evidence of Sarafina ever being in his house. It was eleven pm by the time he finished. He lifted Sarafina’s body and carried her to the grave he dug for her earlier.